Harry gets annoyed
by The Power He Knoweth Not
Summary: When Harry is trying to spend some time with Ginny, Death Eaters barge in, and Harry gets pissed off. How will he deal with this unexpected interruption? My first fic, so sorry if I did anything wrong. HBP spoliers.


Dumbledore, one of the greatest wizards of the 20th century, and the only person Lord Voldermort aka Tom Marvalo Riddle ever feared, was dead, and the whole of wizarding Britain was preparing for the second war against Voldemort. But the somber atmosphere couldn't have affected the couple beneath the tree on the bank of the Black Lake any less.

The redheaded girl's and the raven haired boy's bodies were closely intertwined with one another, and their mouths seemed to be glued to each other's, but they did break apart every minute or so for air, though they resumed their little 'activity' with much gusto after each breath. They had been at it since the morning, and it was late afternoon when the boy felt something whoosh past his head.

Harry Potter (for of course, it was he), whirled around in surprise, breaking away from Ginny Weasley in the process. He did not see Ginny give him a pouty look, nor did he see the pouty look turn into one of abject horror. All he could think about was the fact that _there were Death Eaters on the school grounds!_

There stood 5 eaters in V formation. He registered that Bellatrix Lestrange seemed to be leading the group, and was currently screaming at Lucius Malfoy, whose face was rapidly being covered in flying spit. "The Dark Lord will not be pleased! The Potter boy was just five metres away and nicely distracted! I'd already cast the Dark Mark, and you _had_ to go fu-" Before she could complete her sentence, there was a yell of _reducto!_, a spray of blood and bone, and Bellatrix Lestrange's head ceased to exist.

Lucius wiped the splatter of gore of his face, the usual smug look on his face seemed to have vanished, and all the blood had left his face, as he stared at the remainder of Bellatrix's body, which teetered slowly on the spot before collapsing onto the ground with a small thud.

He swivelled around and came face to face with a very livid Harry Potter. "I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU GUYS AND YOUR STUPID DARK LORD. FIRST HE KILLS MY PARENTS, THEN TRIES TO KILL ME, SO THAT I HAD TO BE SENT TO THOSE ASSHOLES OF AN UNCLE AND AUNT. THEN HE HAD TO MAKE 4 MORE ATTEMPTS ON MY LIFE, BEFORE THAT BITCH-" here he jabbed a finger at the prone body that used to belong to one of Lord Voldemort's most faithful servants, "KILLED THE ONLY PARENT FIGURE I HAD EVER KNOWN. THEN SNAPE HAD TO GO KILL DUMBLEDORE!" Harry was positively seething by now, and Lucius dimly registered that his face was being covered in flying spit for the second time in a little under a minute. By now, Lucius' body's natural self preservation mechanism had withdrawn the blood from the surface of his skin so that he would not bleed too badly if he got injured, but no self preservation mechanism could stop all the blood from draining out his body and through his neck when Harry hit him with a _sectumsempra_.

Nott, Crabbe and Goyle had seen many disgusting things in their lives, and had tortured and killed people for the fun of it, but at the sights of two of their comrades lying headless on the ground, their wands fell out of their hands, and their bladders involuntarily loosened a little. Harry saw the rapidly spreading stain on the front of their robes and gave a mirthless smirk. "I hope you're enjoying that feeling of relieving yourself, Goyle, because it's the last time you'll ever feel it." One castration curse later and Golye Sr was whimpering and clutching his crotch, rolling on the ground in a pool of his own blood. That little sight gave Nott's and Crabbe's bladders even more incentive to loosen all the way, and soon the front of their robes were soaked through.

Harry gave another ruthless grin, and two bangs could be heard, and the two remaining Death Eaters were quickly bound in black ropes, and toppled to the ground, immobilised.

"Hey, Crabbe. I've heard that the Giant Squid has been looking for a new plaything."

Crabbe's eyes widened in horror, before Harry swished his wand, and he found himself hurling bodily towards the Black Lake, before being deftly caught in one of the Giant Squid's tentacles. Crabbe Sr managed to let out a single girly squeal, before the Giant squid proceeded to 'play' with him the way some boys 'played' with their sisters' Barbie dolls.

When Harry turned back to look at Nott, Nott's already empty bladder decided that the most reasonable course of action would be to release itself again, and promptly sucked pee out of the anti-matter dimension before soiling Nott's robes once again.

"Now, what should we do with you…?"

After having nicely disposed of Nott, Harry went back to Ginny, who was still sitting beneath the tree, looking rather shell shocked.

"So, are we going to continue what we were doing before we were doing before we were so rudely interrupted or not?" Well _that_ snapped her out of her daze, and she flashed him a sultry smile.

And that was how the young couple again came to be tightly entwined beneath the tree on the bank of the Black Lake, not caring that students and staff alike were racing from the castle to check on the Dark Mark hanging in the air above them, and ignoring the fact that they would be found sooner or later. It was only when a particular familiar voice gave a strangled yell that he looked away from Ginny's chocolate eyes and into the blue eyes of Ron, who was currently giving him a glare that would have made Voldemort himself proud.

"HARRY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH MY SISTER?" Harry gave an audible gulp. Sure, he could face bloodthirsty minions of the most powerful Dark Lord in the century was one thing, but facing an overprotective brother was a totally different matter. This wasn't going to end well… 

Voldemort was sitting on his bed at Malfoy Manor, aka Death Eater HQ. His little 'hit team' hadn't returned yet, and they had left on their mission two days ago. He wasn't worried about them, after all, how hard would it be for five fully trained wizards and witches to subdue a single sixteen year old? Not that he would miss any of them if they actually failed, Lucius were getting on his nerves, Crabbe and Goyle were all brawn and no brain, and Nott was a wuss. Bella though…

When Snape knocked on the door and walked in, he was greeted by the sight of the Dark Lord sitting at his desk, drooling all over his chin. He gagged and immediately proceeded to _obliviate _the offending memories from his head. It was a very confused Yaxley who walked in half an hour later to check why the Dark Lord hadn't went down yet.

"What, what is it? This better be good," Voldemort barked, not realising that his entire chin was covered in drool, and that he looked less than menacing just about then.

"Did Severus come in half an hour earlier, my Lord?"

"No. Was he supposed to? He is getting more incompetent by the day."

"Well, my Lord, there is a package for you, down in the main hall," replied a bemused Yaxley.

As Voldemort strode out his room, and down the stairs, he passed Snape along the stairway and stopped to stare at him. Voldemort grinned, which did his features no good. It looked just like a grimace. A very creepy grimace, which promised the person on the receiving end no pleasant things to come in the near future.

"Is something the matter, my Lord?"

"You know, Severus, you should wash your hair once in awhile. That grease will do you no good." Snape waited until Voldemort was gone, then rolled his eyes lazily.

Voldemort eyed the package sitting in the middle of the main hall warily; it was a nondescript brown box, just big enough to fit a person in. With a lazy flick of his wand, the lid of the box flopped open. Voldemort peered in, and found a stunned Nott with both his middle fingers pointing up and at Voldemort's face.

One look at Voldemort's face told the Death Eaters congregated in the hall to run away as fast as they could, which would prove to not be fast enough. Most of the Death Eaters at the manor spent the rest of their day applying copious amounts of burn cream on most areas of their body. Snape, on the other hand, learned the hard way that grease was a particularly flammable substance, and so he spent the rest of the day trawling Diagon Alley for a wig shop.

**THE END**


End file.
